Porn addiction. Truth, Realism, and Hope for Addicts and Partners

For a long time, the argument against porn revolved around the idea that giving in to its allure constituted a moral transgression of some kind. It was a matter of sinfulness from a religious/Christian perspective. An indication that one has succumbed to desire and/or gluttony, two of the seven supposedly most deadly sins. Or, from a feminist perspective, porn is viewed as the heinous use of women as sexual, one-dimensional objects with no humanity other than form. However, as Naomi Wolf points out in her article, The Porn Myth, excessive exposure to pornography has had the opposite effect—creating men who are sexually and emotionally anorexic and unable to relate to or be aroused by real women. As it turns out, excessive pornographic viewing in the digital era turns men off, not on.

Numerous studies now demonstrate that men (and an increasing number of women) who repeatedly and compulsively watch online porn have the opposite effect from what one might anticipate. Just as a person who is addicted to a substance becomes more and more desensitised to the drug while continuing to crave it,  leakhive  a person who is addicted to pornography finds that they end up on pretty much the same, well-worn treadmill. passionately craving something that is no longer able to give temporary comfort and stimulation.

According to recent studies, internet pornography has the same addictive qualities as some substances and has a similar impact on the brain. However, porn's unique selling point is that by introducing hormones that are typically linked to bonding, love, and connection into the equation, it plays into that human urge for attachment, connection, and belonging even more than addictive substances. In essence, a porn addict develops a stronger attachment to porn than to anything or anybody else in their life. Relationships, marriages, jobs, and eventually one's relationship with oneself suffer as a result.

Porn addiction goes through stages, just like any other addiction. However, unlike most other addictions, its bodily effects are almost imperceptible, and its psychological and emotional repercussions are first very subdued. In fact, before anyone bothers to inquire about their porn viewing habits, many porn addicts may seek treatment for a range of mental health conditions like anxiety, melancholy, and OCD as well as physical illnesses, stress, other addictions, and finally poor sexual performance.

However, an increasing number of studies show a direct connection between excessive online porn use and problems with sexual performance, such as erectile dysfunction in males in their late teens and early twenties (something that was virtually unheard of 10 to 15 years ago). Some guys don't begin to link their binge-watching of porn to other problems in their lives until they are unable to get an erection or ejaculate even with porn. This is frequently the only thing that eventually captures their attention. (Their partners, if they have partners, may have known for a while that something was occurring, or rather... not happening!)

Both porn addicts and their partners are in horrible shape as a result of this sorry situation. Many people spend countless hours in bed with a spouse who never appears to be "in the mood" for sex. Marriages, other relationships, and the self-esteem of both people may suffer as a result. Because most men's porn addictions are private, some partners might not even be aware that they are in a relationship with a porn addict. Even if they are aware of their partner's porn habit, they might not immediately connect the dots. Or they might be unaware of how much their partner watches porn. There is no way to measure the harm this does to relationships. According to one website, among other startling data, 56% of divorces in the U.S. involve a partner that has an obsession with pornography.

So, is there only terrible news to report? Well, no. The brain is actually incredibly elastic and pliable, similar to plasticine, according to the most recent brain study. In reality, the name describing how the brain may alter itself based on what is encountered is neuroplasticity. This is fantastic news because getting yourself into a sticky situation and getting yourself out of one are virtually the same process. Internet porn may have lost some of its attractiveness many clicks ago, but the habit it has established will be difficult to break. Hard but not impossible. There seems to be little other option for partners of addicts and for men who have lost the ability to emotionally and physically interact to women besides ending the relationship, which, let's face it, is rather likely. Being in a relationship with a porn addict can't be very enjoyable. However, given that sex addiction, of which porn addiction is a form, has reportedly reached epidemic status in America at least, it is likely that if you break up with one porn addict, you will more than likely run into another who is just as addicted or on the verge of becoming one. This is because, according to a 2011 News Week article, if you break up with one porn addict, you are more than likely to meet another who is just as addicted or on the verge of becoming one.

So how do you overcome a porn addiction and undo the damage it has done to your brain? The solution is to simply put a stop to it, which is straightforward if not easy. Give your brain an opportunity to rewire itself, re-learn, or rediscover what comes naturally by ceasing all contact with porn and masturbating to porn.